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Diamonds turn to coal: Marriage, divorce and the holidays

| Dec 14, 2016 | Family Law |

While holidays can be a great source of joy for your family that joy can quickly turn to frustration or loneliness if you’re considering divorce. According to Divorce Magazine, divorce rates tend to spike in January due to unrealistic expectations of spouses during the holidays.

Often, people look to the holidays as a time of healing, but in a bad marriage, this may turn mistletoe into misery once again.

By this time, you may be feeling resolute in your decision to file for divorce after the holidays, but what do you do in the meantime? Here are three tips for getting through the holiday season when facing a divorce:

Shorten the wish list

Tempering expectations for gifts and grandeur during a divorce is to be expected. Friends and loved ones who are aware of your situation will understand if your holiday spirit is a little dampened this year. No matter. The emotional support and quality time you gain with your loved ones is often more valuable than any materials gift you might receive.

Although your shopping list may be shorter, resourcefulness can come in handy when considering the impending asset division and legal fees during a divorce.

Start a new tradition

What was once a weekend at your in-laws might now become a silent night on the calendar. While this free space might allow negative thoughts to creep in, now is the time for idle minds to become Santa’s workshop.

Create a new holiday tradition for yourself and your friends. Spend a day checking out a holiday display in a neighboring town. Take advantage of an empty theater by seeing a new holiday movie. Bake the Christmas cookies you loved so much as a kid.

Old holidays can become new traditions for creative minds.

Be fair to your children

Divorce can be an uncertain time for your children too. Be sure to have a discussion with your kids to explain your expectations and any new arrangements during the season. Address their concerns and reassure them as best as you can.

Not being able to provide the usual comfort and joy for your children during the holidays is tough to bear, but awareness of a difficult situation can make the emotional process easier for them too.

As you turn the calendar to a New Year and a potentially new familial situation, keep in mind that a trusted family law attorney is there to represent you through the uncertain times of divorce.