Maybe you or your ex made some inconsiderate choices, or maybe you no longer feel a connection between one another. Either way, your reason to seek a divorce doesn’t even have to make sense to anyone else besides each party involved. But, if you both continue to be a part of your children’s lives, then you owe them the best care you can provide.
For co-parents, this often means kicking any resentment or animosity to the curb and showing up for your children both individually and as a team. However, if you can’t even think about looking your ex in the eyes, then using some parallel parenting tactics might help both you and your children cope with divorce.
What is parallel parenting?
Through parallel parenting, each party works together to create a parenting plan that allows for only minimal and completely necessary interactions. This method usually involves co-parents:
- Using a professional style of communication rather than a personal one
- Making child pick-ups as brief as possible
- Creating a highly detailed parenting plan
- Having the liberty to set their rules and routines for their children
This option can be ideal for co-parents who are still dealing with heavy emotions involved in a divorce or those who feel like they can’t get along, even if they try.
How is it child-centered?
It can be hard to admit that you can’t put aside your differences for your children because you know how much they value both you and your ex-spouse. But you are miles ahead in accepting that you aren’t in a headspace to be a highly communicative co-parent.
Accepting that your differences cause friction that could lead to arguments in front of your children can help them both in the short and long run. Seeing parents separate can already be difficult and confusing for your little ones. Plus, seeing their parents disagree can make them scared in the moment and negatively impact their emotional development and mental health.
If being more disconnected with your ex makes you more present as a parent, then parallel parenting might be worth try.