Divorce can create a lot of changes that you and your children must process in a short amount of time. Right off the bat, your children will have to begin living in two separate homes and you and/or your ex will have to move out of your marital home. But families who feel uneasy about all this commotion can consider a nesting arrangement.
Nesting breaks the traditional path that parents seeking a divorce typically follow. In a sense, parents and children switch roles. So, you and your ex-spouse would split your life between two homes instead of having your children do so. Through nesting, parents usually keep the family home and have their children live it in full-time while parents switch off living in the home when it’s their turn with the kids.
Benefits of keeping the family home
Your family might find that a nesting arrangement meets your needs if you don’t quite know if you’d like to sell or keep the family home. It can be a temporary setup for you to take the time you need to list it or tour new homes once you are comfortable with beginning that process. It could also be nice to deal with being newly single in a place you know.
Moving to a new home can be overwhelming on its own for children, let alone adjusting to having divorced parents. Going through a move can cause children to lose friends and feel secondhand stress from parents. Taking a more gradual approach to introducing change in your child’s world may help foster emotional stability.
Reality of nesting
Nesting can go on as short or long as you’d like it to. However, if you and your ex-spouse can’t be friendly with one another for your children’s sake, then nesting might not be the best idea. This is because maintaining the family home will require you to work together with your spouse on something in addition to sharing parenting responsibilities. And if you do get along, keep in mind that paying to keep the family and investing in an off-site residence when you aren’t on duty can be costly in the long-term.
If you think you might like to implement nesting, then be honest with yourself about your amicability with your ex and what your financial situation will look like after divorce. An experienced family law attorney can discuss what an ideal arrangement might look like for your family after divorce.